Tell me a little about yourself and what it’s like being a parent today.
Well, I am 32 now, which is crazy. (I can’t believe I’m even in my 30s.) I’m a single mom of a son. He is 2 1/2 right now and I just got the diagnosis that he’s autistic. It’s been challenging, but I’m finding methods to deal with it and his speech is developing. When he turned 2, they diagnosed him, and I know how to take care of him properly now. It’s getting better as the days go by, but it’s just literally me and my son. When I do have the time, I try to get everything done. I do save a lot, so when it’s time for me to splurge a little, I have funds to splurge a little but still have something saved over.
I work part time as a home health aide. I’ve been in the medical field since I was 19 and I’m 32 now, I was CNA before my son was born. I have a lot of years’ experience. That’s why I advocate for myself and my son.
You often advocate for centering people and their lived experience in the decision-making/policy process. Why do you think it’s important to center that lived experience?
I believe we all have our own stories. Everybody goes through something. And 9 times out of 10, us living in poverty, being in poverty, we can relate. That’s just what it is. I feel like it’s important for me to use my voice to speak up, for the simple fact that if you don’t speak up, nothing will get done, no policies will change. I believe in using my voice so things can be changed. I like to hear people tell me, ‘Oh, I can relate to that. This is what’s happening to me.’ And I also like to share with people whatever resources I have. I try to give them resources and ways to help them get whatever help that they need. It’s important for me to use my voice and to keep advocating for the people and basically, keep everything afloat. Because without your voice, like I said, nothing will be changed. Nothing will get done.
You were the expert in the room at Aspen on how the social service system can best serve parents. Can you talk us through that experience?
They were looking at problems from my point of view, because I’ve actually been in the system. They were trying to see how they can make the connection to make the change to the problems that are happening in the system. It felt good to be heard. It felt good to share my thoughts. I also made a point from a different perspective, a different point of view, and they took that into account. A lot of times people don’t think of things from a certain point of view. They just think straight, but it’s not straight. I like to think outside the box, ‘what if you do it this way instead of doing it that way.’ It felt good to keep the connections with the people because I still have connections with them, we e-mail from time to time. I was just happy and honored to be there.
It was nice, and reassuring, to think that the systems are changing, that they’re actually listening to people that have experienced poverty before. It was empowering, because honestly speaking, that room was so diverse. Everybody came with their different stories and as everybody is speaking, you had to relate to at least one person’s story. It felt really good to know you’re not alone. It felt really, really good to be heard.
How can we empower more people to advocate for change, to stand up and tell their stories?
Make people listen. Don’t be scared to talk up. And honestly speaking, what’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong. If you feel like something is wrong you have to make it right, so make sure your voice is heard. Do not be scared to say what’s on your mind, but make sure you do it in a respectful way because sometimes it can come off wrong. Just be respectful. Make sure your voice is heard. Make sure the people listen. If you got to get a little loud for the people to hear you, project your voice, you will get heard. Look where I am, they keep selecting me for things. I’m very honored. My voice is always heard. I’m always there and I always show up. Even if you don’t want to speak, just show up to events and listen. And then one day it could be you and you could be ready to tell your story, ready to speak about your situation.
Any advice for those people that are on the receiving end of that listening?
You have to have an open mind because not every problem is everybody’s problem, but you have to have an open mind and look at people with problems from a different perspective. Even if you didn’t go through that situation, be open minded to listening so it can be changed. Even though some people can’t relate to your story, somehow put yourself in their shoes. Hopefully that will open up your mind to help with change.
Can you tell us more about how you came to be so passionate about standing up for yourself and others, and how you see your role in advocacy going forward?
Me being a part of the system, I’ve had a lot of horror stories where, I wouldn’t say I’ve gone hungry, but I would say like benefits have gotten messed up. I was on the road of being evicted because the program wasn’t paying what they were paying, and I had to speak up –at that time, I believe I was pregnant – and I went with a big old belly and I’m like, ‘I can’t get put out this house. I’m about to have a baby.’ I got it fixed. I used my voice. I got it fixed.
So, I think it’s really important for people to speak up, because if you don’t speak up, nothing will get done. So that’s me moving forward to keep continuing to use my voice, use my stories to better change these systems.
If everybody comes together and they use their voice, I feel like the system will run smoother and run a little bit better. If we speak up, change will be made. So, I’m going to continue to use my voice. I’m going to continue to speak up. I’m going to continue to tell my story and I’m going to continue to try to get everything changed. So, it could be better for other single moms out there, other single dads, parents in general that need help.
In an ideal world, how would you envision the social service system working?
Going into the office and getting greeted. Sometimes they just stare at you, and then it’s always ‘what do you want? What are you here for?’ If they could just greet you, be a little nicer, be a little more understanding. I understand it’s a job and I understand people come in there with different things – because sometimes people are mentally ill and it’s mentally challenging, so they don’t really know how to deal and cope – but maybe they need training on how to cope with certain people. Treat people like people. At the end of the day, we all bleed the same, we all do the same things. We’re all one. Be kind, be nice. You shouldn’t be punished for getting help. They should have one-on-one coaching and treat people holistically,
Any thoughts on how we can advocate for a better world?
I would just tell people not to be scared. If there’s a problem and you feel like you need, just speak up, make sure you use your voice. If you feel like you’re not being heard, make connections. Speak up and use your voice and make sure you are heard even if you feel like you’re not being heard.